8 Years Later

I'm back! Did anyone know I left? Even I forgot I was gone. It's been a wild 8 years since my last post. To celebrate all the changes in my life since I last posted, I'm going to list new perspectives I've gained over the last 8 years, in no particular order. 

Myself as a 2014 blogger probably would have called these "learnings". But I've .... learned .... that life is way too nuanced and ever-changing to "learn" things. All you can do is grow. 

• Capitalism is a major driver of our culture in the US, and it's not like that everywhere in the world
• Capitalism is good because it incentivizes hard work and progress
• Capitalism is bad because it leaves people behind
• Capitalism is incomplete because people are not fully rational and our prejudices significantly drive how our economy works
• Money is the driver behind at least half, if not most, things people do
• I would have been a good CPA (sorry I realized that one too late, Dad!) 
• It's really important but not always possible to leave well; to create bridges vs. burn them when it's time for a change in a job, relationship, or community
• If you let problems fester, they will blow up. Honesty, no matter how scary, is better
• I have a culture! And I happen to have grown up in a very privileged, majority culture
• It's very prevalent among women to be conditioned not to believe in themselves
• Almost no one sees it coming when they're being played by a sociopath; most people cannot believe what is happening
• Sometimes you're just in the wrong place, and there's no reason or benefit from changing yourself to fit your environment. Sometimes you just need to make a change and leave something behind
• Gaslighting, y'all. Trust your gut, ladies
• I'm healthier in every way when I take things at a measured pace, vs. when I am constantly striving 
• Other people give me a sense of purpose
• You CAN start over, especially when you have no choice
• And last one ... sometimes it's a cliche because it's true ... Sometimes starting over is the best thing that could ever happen to you

Peace

BEST summer EVER!!

Literally. I've told people I feel like I'm in high school, because I haven't had this much free time (and extra energy) in the summer since I was in high school. It was really hard for a couple of weeks not being at Camp All-American (because we were living with our parents and I drove by it every day) -- but since moving down to Dunwoody and seeing our bff's all the time, I am realizing that there IS life after Camp All-American -- and it's super FUN!!

Kayaking, hiking, running, yoga, being with friends, team USA winning!!,  interesting jobs, and a varied schedule are making for the perfect summer.

My instagram and Facebook pics tell the story of our summer pretty well, but I'll just fill in a few gaps here (for those who are interested :) )

I LOVE my internship with Calvin Edwards & Company. I'm learning how to write, and I'm exposed to the most fascinating ideas in the most optimistic industry--philanthropy. Consider this, which Calvin Edwards expostulated on in a recent lunch and learn:

Premise 1- The United States is by far the most generous nation, per capita.
Premise 2- A fundamental pre-condition of generously giving to a cause is optimism -- you believe that the world can change.
Premise 3- The United States is characteristically optimistic.
Conclusion- There is probably a connection between the US's optimistic culture, and its level of giving.

And WOW I am thinking SO optimistically. Even if nothing else comes from this internship, I am so grateful for how it is shaping a vision of our future. Marshall and I could change the world! You could change the world! SO many people are dedicated to causes that change. the. world.!!

I also love working for the Acts 29 Network! I'm learning a lot about the network, I got to MEET A CELEBRITY!!! I met Matt Chandler, in case anyone didn't hear. !! AND I get to go work at / enjoy the Pastors' Retreat down in Miami next week -- And Marshall gets to join me!! I'm working with some great people and friends of both me and Marshall, so it's going to be a great week!!

And my classes are going well -- I'm done with Accounting and almost done with Finance, and they've both been really interesting and the perfect amount of challenging! The world is SUCH an interesting place, and there's so many interesting things happening -- life is good :)

Someone get me a participation trophy - SCHOOLS OUT!!!!

This is a tribute to the participation trophy and every kid and person who receives one. I'm giving myself one today, figuratively. I participated in being a teacher at JCCHS this year, and I need to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who made it possible!!

So here's my I-Made-It Acceptance Speech:

I LITERALLY could not have made it through this year of teaching without the people around me. Marshall is supposed to have been the one who had a hard year-- his first year of Law School! But he has been overwhelmingly loving and supportive. "How can I help you?" and "I'm sorry your day is so hard" are the things he said SO often that helped me get through. He's amazing--really. I'm amazed I get to be his wife!

Jessica and Michael, my two bffls from school, have been a Godsend!! We've literally walked through this year together -- our walks around Five Points helped me feel connected to JCCHS and not alone in my role there AND gave me a place to vent and process things. And exercise!! I LOVE Y'ALL!!!! And I'm so glad I don't have to miss y'all because we'll still see each other next year and this summer!! We have to. :)

Conversations with my friend Ashley almost daily in the car at 7:00am took my mind off of the day ahead and kept me joyful. Ashley, you've OFFICIALLY seen me at my embarrassing worst. And Lauren and Avery and Ciara and Jenn, I can't WAIT to spend the summer hanging out with y'all!!

My parents, in-laws, and family, and my d-group (Kaitie, Karen, Mollie, Katie, Helen, and Erika) were SO supportive and sympathetic when I cried involuntarily. My mom cried with me when I had a hard day earlier this week--so sweet!! And our community group was SO supportive and caring -- "How many days left, Rachel?"

Sara Samchok, you reminded me: "Rachel Sims is not a quitter." Nope. And now I'm DONE!!!!!

And lastly, thank you to our pastor Matt Adair and to UGA and to Stephen Kump / Calvin Edwards and Company-- who are the means God has provided for me to change gears and work towards a new career path!! I feel so blessed and excited to learn from the opportunities ahead. Starting on TUESDAY!!!

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I have never done anything as difficult as this year. [Disclaimer: If your life has actually been hard, you may want to stop reading here, because my life is not actually  that difficult.]

Summers as a counselor at Camp All-American were really hard, but that was just because I was tired. Running track and cross country in high school was really hard, but practice lasted, what, 2 hours? and I was running with my best friends. And I love running. Being apart from family and friends when I went to Spain was hard, but I was on a european adventure of a lifetime, and I made some great friends. My senior year of college was hard because I was tired and overworked. . .

And I feel like perseverance is sort of something I've focused on developing through a lot of things in my life--my dad ran marathons when I was little, and my mom has stayed joyful despite tons of hard things in her life--so I feel like I have a strong foundation of perseverance from them. But this year took persevering to a new level for me.

Reasons I quit teaching:

1. It made me someone I don't want to be. It made me angry. It made me unmotivated. It made me dislike nice people. It made me unable to see that people are nice people. I had to tell funny, interesting young people to be quiet all. the. time. I had to execute something I felt was mediocre day after day, without the time, training, or resources to turn mediocrity into excellence.

2. I didn't see any hope of becoming someone I want to be. Once I decided not to teach, the responses I got from coworkers were things like "Good for you-- most of us have been in it too long to change now." or "RUN. As fast as you can."

3. It isn't actually that relational. My smallest class was 33 (biggest 36). I love kids and wanted to help them grow and learn . . . but turns out most of them didn't really want to do that, and there were too many of them for me to be able to focus on the ones that did!

Lastly, can I just say there are some AMAZING teachers at JCCHS. There's one lady in particular (Mrs. Laura Caldwell :) ) who is the sweetest, salt-of-the-earth person ever. She thinks the best of others, and she listens to them. She is a precious gift to the kids at Jackson County--and they know it!!

In SUMMER!!

Just wanted to update family and friends on new things happening with us! We are SO excited for our summer: We are looking forward to being back with old friends and with family in Atlanta this summer, but we will miss our Athens friends!! 

Marshall's summer internship with Commander Pound Butler started today! http://commanderpoundbutler.com  He's excited to learn a lot  from some really cool people there, and I am thrilled for him!! It's increasingly difficult to find internships after your 1L year, so I'm very proud :) He's also excited about his classes and activities for the fall. He's been accepted for a Medical-Legal partnership, where he will get to do actual case work in healthcare law. He'll also be on the Moot Court team! 

I started working in April with the Acts 29 Network as an Events Associate, part time  http://www.acts29network.org . It's been a HUGE blessing!! And it's not only a summer job--I'll stay on with them as long as they'll have me! :) I get to be part of a cool, expanding international organization, AND I'm getting to work with and for some great people we've become friends with this year.  I might even get to meet some "celebrities" (like Matt Chandler or Lecrae or Tedashii) at some of the events haha!! I am really looking forward to getting to focus more on my work with them once school's out on Friday!  

Starting next Tuesday, I'll also be spending about 15 hours a week learning from/interning with Calvin Edwards and Company ( http://www.calvinedwardscompany.com ). They work primarily with potential donors to help them choose high-performing non-profit organizations, by creating comprehensive reports on those non-profits! I am really grateful to be getting all of this experience before beginning my MBA in the fall!! 

I'm also beginning my pre-course work for the MBA program. . . taking online crash course versions of Accounting, Finance, Econ., and Statistics in preparation for the fall. And it's been SEVEN YEARS since I took any sort of quantitative course at all. Bring it on. 

We'll also live with each of our parents for about a week this summer, and we'll live the rest of the time with one of my best friends and her husband, who just bought a house!! We are SO excited and grateful to all of them for opening up their homes to us this summer! :) :) 

Life in Athens (as long as I'm not teaching) is amazing--this is a GREAT place to live, and I know we will be excited to be back at the end of the summer! HAGS!!

MBA at UGA -- Fall 2014!!

I am VERY EXCITED and the future is looking SO bright!!! I just heard about my acceptance to the Terry College of Business at UGA's Full-Time MBA Program, and I could NOT be more excited!!

Very excited about changing careers--I've chosen the Operations Management concentration because I'd like to either go into consulting or work for a number of amazing companies in Atlanta in an operations-related position. An MBA will help me develop my strengths of organization, preparedness, and efficiency into a marketable skill set!

I am sure that I would have liked teaching better at a different school / in a different department at my school, but I started thinking last fall that I couldn't see myself teaching for the rest of my career--for various reasons. And Marshall had been suggesting since we decided to move to Athens that I get a masters while we're here... So we did some research, found some jobs we think I'd enjoy and be good at, and I became convinced that an MBA would open the door for me to do those things. We talked to our parents about it, and they were supportive, excited, and had some great wisdom to offer! I applied in December, and I just heard back!!

Of course there are a lot of risky things about this. . . both of us being in school, when to start a family, etc . . . BUT we've prayed through the fears and risks, sought wisdom from people older than us, and we are really convinced that this is God's leading for me/us.

There's also that, if I was just going to end up back in school, then why did God lead me to teach this year? In talking about that, my parents pointed out that I've wanted to be a Spanish teacher since I was 18. If I had never tried it out, I would have always wondered. Now I KNOW :)

Going forward, I am really excited about applying for summer internships, brushing up on my quantitative skills (Kahn Academy is AMAZING!!), and doing pre-course work. It is definitely going to be a challenge, but I am so excited about where it will lead!

One semester down!

And after whirlwind day of wrapping up the semester and preparing for Christmas, we'll embark in the morning for a week out of town to be with family! Very exciting. 

I am SO glad to get a two-week break. I'll be teaching a few of the same kids in my Spanish 2 class next semester, but there are others that I think I may miss. Maybe? 

I gave them surveys about my class, and the feedback was really helpful. More note-taking (Yes please!), less book work, they liked the centers we did, they LOVE when they get to write/draw on my mini individual whiteboards to practice vocab. I also asked them about my teaching style, and it looks like I struck a good balance: 

"Sra. Sims is really nice and laid-back. Not overbearing." 

"Sra. Sims is too strict sometimes." 

"She's not monotone and is always smiling and enthusiastic." 

"She's really monotone and needs to be more enthusiastic." 

I had 25% A's and a 12% failure rate, which makes a pretty nice bell curve. One student made a 100 in the class -- and he earned every single one of those 100 points. He learned 100% of what I taught this semester, and I'm glad I'll get to teach him again next semester! 

I also had a jock kid start crying today when I handed him back his well-written EOCT, on which he scored an 82, and told him that meant he'd pass the class. Which means he gets to play baseball this spring, of course! 

I started creating a collection of poetic works around October titled "Haikus of a first year teacher", and I thought I'd share a few here:

Preplanning:

Spitball plastered tiles

Almost crushed by bad bookshelf

Hearing, smelling bats

Students:

Te llama el gum

My clothing’s like a cowgirl

Things students tell me 

Midterm:

52 Average

Texting’s not work; took his phone

He never came back 

Surveys: 

This was a great class 

Even though I'm gonna fail

Thank you. Love you! --Hope

An update from CRISP and BEAUTIFUL Athens!

My heart is full. Life is beautiful in Athens. Fall is beautiful, crisp air is beautiful, UGA's campus is beautiful, Fairy Princess . . . is a hermit. Marriage/ the companionship it brings are beautiful, candy corn for $0.75 is beautiful.

I think I am finally adjusting to teaching; it's been a journey, but I like kids and I definitely like the blistering, challenging pace of planning and creating and grading and learning. Even though it gets exhausting. I'm learning a lot from my kids about people who've grown up differently from me. Things are becoming more predictable, and I am increasingly in control of my classroom environment. . . which makes every day easier. Also, my student with a constant scowl who I had a major issue with last Monday never came back to my class and is now transferring to another school!! YAY.

I've gone to a few meetings lately about how my school district has no money at all. So it's sort of questionable whether I'll have a job next year--especially a full-time job--BUT I see it as a potential opportunity to try new things since I definitely don't love teaching yet.

I'm taking a personal day Friday to refuel halfway between Fall Break and Thanksgiving, we have the perfect agenda of exciting weekend plans for the next few weeks and the holidays, we're making good friends, staying in touch with good friends, and I have plenty of time to read, learn, recuperate from work, and enjoy the beautiful city we live in. Life is good.

*Disclaimer - my apologies for only blogging when life is good. The last months have been a struggle. . . I'm thankful for where I am right now!

*Another disclaimer: Marshall didn't get a fall break and can't take days off like I can . . . he's exhausted and excited that there are only 3 weeks of classes left this semester. He handles it all amazingly well and is doing amazingly well according to the midterm grades he's gotten back! VERY proud of him and so excited I get to be his partner through now and into the future. . . the future is so bright and wide open -- who knows where we'll end up! It's fun to dream!

#classiclifelessons

We are all connected.

--And now I know because this week, I had my first detention. Meaning I gave my first detention. Meaning I had my first detention.

And it left me figuring out how to deal with my new knowledge that it's useless to spend my life trying to get ahead. Because if I do, I'll just end up in detention because of something someone I thought I was getting ahead of did. 

Is this really how our society works?! 

. . . 

Am I really this obsessed with getting ahead!?!?

The more I think about it, yes. Yes it is. 

And yes--I guess I am. Hm. . . 

It's that kind of week. 

Every Good Weekend

I'm obsessed with Christ Community Church. Every encounter provides a glimmer of clarity and hope to our hearts. Not that life isn't beautiful . . .

I'm feeling extra whiny today, but work is hard. Tim Keller's Every Good Endeavor has helped me keep a positive outlook on my new work --I DO want to build something meaningful; I do want to make life more beautiful for others. And I do know that I'm in exactly the job I'm supposed to be in right now. And I see the beauty of it. Sometimes. Like one day last week, when I could tell my 4th block was just not with me. They're the ones whose grades overall are always noticeably lower than the other two periods' grades. When I asked what the blank stares were about, the one kid who never gets it exclaimed, "I have no idea what's going on!" --and other kids started chiming in too, and eventually we figured out what the issue was AND it was an issue with a phrase I didn't realize I hadn't taught them how to use. I was glad I asked! After that, I had all of their attention, and they all walked away actually having learned. That was a good feeling!

Other days, they press me for an answer on whether I'm a first year teacher . . . or they tell me my class is boring. . . or they just sleep and fail. Or sleep and get 100's--I'm not sure which is worse. I don't know how to manage it all yet.

I just know I don't want to start living for the weekends. . . but I don't know how not to. Especially when it's the time that sweet bff's and family come into town for fun gatherings!

        

But Tim Keller is right-- work is good and I need work, not just to make money but for life satisfaction. I just can't help thinking that--like the guy in the show Marshall's watching right now--it would be a lot more fun to have a job where I got to run through the snow next to a wolverine on a leash.

But another positive aspect of my job is that somehow--even though I'm just teaching Spanish 1--my Spanish is getting better. I've been watching a lot of "Betty la fea" and "Amar en tiempos revueltos" (check them out if you're looking for a good telenovela!) and my comprehension is much more . . . comprehensive. . . and requires much less effort than when I was watching them a year ago.

   



OH yes Marshall wanted me to add how excited we are about the community group we're going to be a part of with Christ Community Church-- there are a few couples our age, and a few couples in the next stage(s) of life. It was great this past week, and we are looking forward to beginning to become part of a community through that! It's fun to be around sweet families I knew in college again. Plus, the pastor leads this community group and he's an Alabama fan. He and Marshall both seem to be glad to have found another Alabama fan in Dawg country. I'm also excited about the small group I'm going to be in with my mentor from college and some people she knows in Athens -- we are meeting for the second time tonight! And Marshall is going tonight to a kickoff event with the Dean's Ambassadors at the bowling alley. . . YAY for finding friends!!

Duck Dynasty-- My inspiration this week.

Finished my book yesterday! Called Again was great. Between that and all the "Duck Dynasty" we've been watching on our "free" cable TV from UGA, I've spent a lot of time dreaming about which of my hobbies could become a job. The author of Called Again is a hiker, and owns a hiking company. And if you love duck hunting, what the people in Duck Dynasty appear to do for a living, is living. So, my hobbies. . . Running? Definitely not dedicated enough to that--at least lately. Reading? Writing? Oh wait. . . speaking Spanish!

I'm in a good job. Just gotta get used to it. Back to work tomorrow. Moral of that story: "You can always turn water into wine. If you're Jesus" --Jase, from "Duck Dynasty". Good thing I think that is probably exactly what Jesus is doing in my life/my job/Marshall's life and future job.

Exciting news--Marshall was accepted last week to be a Dean's Ambassador for the Law School! He'll get to give tours and help out with events for prospective students . . . and we'll find out what else eventually. Basically, he's one of the people who's the "face" of UGA Law. He's perfect for that! I'm excited for him.

I sold tickets at the JCCHS football game Friday night. Learned a lot about the area from the teachers I worked with. . . and from the "Redneck Out" that the opposing team had, making fun of JCCHS. They all wore cutoff jeans, sleeveless plaid shirts, and cowboy boots. Haters gonna hate.

The Georgia game was fun!! It's a lot more fun to tailgate and go to the game together; I'm happy we're both Dawgs! Marshall says he loves the school, but not the football team. "It's the barking; I can't handle it", he and his Tech+UGALaw friend agreed today while watching the Falcons game.

For next week, Marshall has planned a "gourmet burgers" night for us on Thursday, to give me something to be excited about when I hit a slump during the week :) The plan is to grill out and eat outside. It'll be our first time breaking in the grills/picnic area in our complex's shady courtyard!

Thanks for reading!

Working for the Weekend!!!

I don't even remember last week because the weekend has been so fun!

Let me try. . . Marshall was mentally pretty worn out by Wednesday but made it through the week. He said it feels like he's been in law school forever because every day is so dense with information, challenges, and interactions with new friends.

Teaching was fine this week, but I'm far from convinced that this will end up being the job for me. Marshall and I talk about the future a lot--it's exciting to think where we'll end up--but at this point my dreams of what I'll be doing in our future don't involve teaching. On the other hand, everyone I've talked to says you have to give teaching time before you can love it (or even know whether you love it!). It's only been a month, so I'll just keep on keeping on.

Life in Athens is wonderful! I love walking after school with the girl who's a school counselor and lives near us. The Law School intramural tennis team started this week too, and Marshall is excited to get to play tennis often this fall!

This weekend has been glorious. We started off seeing "The Great Gatsby" on the big screen at the Tate theater for $1 each on Friday night. Saturday morning, we headed to Johns Creek to see my family for lunch to celebrate my sweet grandma's 78th birthday! It was SO fun to be together with my fam for a great lunch prepared by mom. Mmmmm peach pie.

From the Reeces', we went to the Sims' to pick everyone up in our giant Sequoia (thanks Dad!!) to go to the Alabama game at the Dome (thanks Mike!!)! The tiny little girls stayed home with a babysitter, but all the big kids and their significant others came to the game--what a treat! Wish we'd gotten a shot with everyone in it :/ But here's me and Marshall from our incredible club-level seats!

We spent the night at the Sims and woke up to have a slow morning chatting/catching up with them. Marshall and I agreed that our favorite thing that both of our families do is taking it slow and hanging out for hours talking after a good meal. Quality time!

We trekked back to Athens to have lunch with our friends Ashley and Jesse, who are here for the weekend visiting Jesse's sister who's a freshman and UGA softball player. It was so fun to see them and then have a slow afternoon, and enjoy a long run. Ashley and I had breakfast and caught up this morning, and now Marshall and I are about to spend a few hours hiking and reading at the State Botanical Gardens. Side note, I started an AMAZING book this weekend from my favorite genre:

The writer basically IS me except that she sets speed records for hiking the whole Appalachian Trail. . . What I mean is that it's about being 24 and newly married and starting a big adventure with your husband. ADVENTURE!!

To finish out the weekend, Marshall's also excited to play tennis with a law school classmate this evening. Weekends are SO glorious! Looking ahead to next weekend, I am excited about going to my first JCCHS football game Friday and then going to the UGA/USC game as a "student" on Saturday!! Thanks for reading! :)

Glade, Goat Therapy, Growing up = Good, Go Dawgs.

A couple of highlights from this week!

Athens is beautiful! The best place in the world for running. 

- Marshall loves law school. He was overprepared for his first day of class--YESSssssss. At his current level of thoroughness, I don't think he's going to have to study for finals. Of course, he will anyway--because he's so thorough. Go Marshall!
- Dad and Nanny are both doing well and have no further issues after both having some medical issues this week-- relieved and glad they are recovering!
- There are some amazing churches in Athens. We LOVE the small town/small church feel. Now which one to choose. . . ? So many great people!
- Our apartment no longer smells like someone's wet chihuahua. Thank you, Glade!
- The Beamer got new tires! $$$$ And it needs some other repair. . .  $$$$$$$$$$$
- I got my student ID so that I can get a membership at Ramsey!!!!! They call it a "Student Dependent" card. I depend on Marshall for a lot of OTHER things, but currently I'm not actually a "dependent" in the usual sense of the word. . .HA! But I AM dependent on him for access to university facilities. While pulling out his wallet to pay for the card, Marshall told me this was "$20 out my pocket."

Growing up is a GOOD thing. 

What a concise depiction of how I've changed in the last 6 years! Based on my facial expression alone, not to mention my name is different. This contrast is overly significant to me--I think because it shows me that I am who I hoped I'd be, and I'm becoming who I want to be.

- Marshall's addicted to Pepperoncinis. Gross. Looks like it's a Pavlov-esque addiction, because he said he's had them every day while he's studying, and right now he can't even focus on studying he's craving them so bad. Since these roles will be reversed eventually, is it my job to go to the store to pick up what he's craving?
- A Pixie le gusta comer. [Pixie likes to eat] He's making his debut in my classes this week in a powerpoint where I introduce how to talk about things my students like to do. Specifically, Pixie likes to eat raspberries and popcorn. And he likes Marshall, who feeds him.

 - There's another young person at JCCHS!! One of the counselors is my age and just started at JCCHS too-- and she lives right near us in Athens! We met up after school to go on a walk one evening this week. And we found this (below). Apparently, UGA's kudzu-infested areas are undergoing goat therapy.

"Prescribed Grazing"

I'm going to plant some kudzu on Tate's roof so UGA will be forced to start its own Goats on the Roof. Didn't see any of the goats, though.

We are loving our adventures in Athens!! Life is good, beautiful, sunny, and in a wi-fi cloud here. We have everything we could ever need!

First full week in Athens

We're here now! Marshall finished his research job at C21U and coaching at Camp

I came one day and finally met his boss
whom he's worked with for 2 years! 

 I said goodbye to camp, and we said goodbye to Atlanta

And I started with new teacher orientation and preplanning at my new school on August 5-8. Kids came August 9. And this past week was my first full week of school with students.

The "New Gym" and tons of Panthers
at Jackson County High School

Today will be us finishing up getting settled. If we were keeping a list of "worst weeks ever", last week is probably on that list for both of us because of moving. My parents helped a SO much with getting our furniture moved on Thursday a week ago; we just had a lot of "stuff" to sort through and decide what would fit at our new place and what our parents would graciously store for a few years :)

First week of school was "fine" . . . which was usually my answer to my mom when I was in high school too. Nothing extraordinarily good or extraordinarily bad. The kids are really respectful, responsive to correction, and interested in learning Spanish, and the parents seem great too. My highlight was playing the girls' varsity volleyball team with a few other teachers after school on Wednesday (in the new gym!). Marshall came up to bring my clothes, and he got roped into playing too--it was a lot of fun. I'm happy for any opportunity to get to know other teachers! Least favorite thing this week was my Smart Board--because it rarely works for one reason or another.

Marshall had Orientation for law school yesterday and Thursday. I am so excited for him as it seems like UGA Law sets the tone for students to work hard, have a positive experience, and develop good relationships while they're here. He loved the speaker they had yesterday, who cast a vision for them to use practicing law to serve others--not to serve themselves. It looks like it is going to be a challenging semester, but it also seems like he is really really prepared for what's ahead. He's so excited to finally begin heading towards what he really wants to do someday.

We are both a little apprehensive about how our new environments will change us, but I think we are both well prepared for what we will be doing this year. We are looking forward to getting to know people and settling into our routine! Marshall has one more day of orientation and then his first day of classes on Tuesday.

We miss friends/family/co-workers in Atlanta! I've really appreciated people letting me know they're thinking/praying for me this week :)

College Town Bound!

Marshall and I are getting more and more thrilled about this fall--we are so excited. I think we've told most of our family by this point, but WE'RE MOVING TO ATHENS!!! Marshall is starting Law School at UGA, and I am blessed to have gotten a job teaching Spanish at Jackson County Comprehensive High School, around 30 mins from Athens! It's so clear now why we  weren't supposed to get any of the houses we put offers on this spring. :) Thank God!!

A few of my bucket-list items for the fall:
* Athens Half Marathon (training with Kat--we'll be living ~10 min. walk from her in family/grad. housing!)  
and training on the UGA IM Fields, which are also super close to where we'll live!
* Kayaking on the Oconee River
* Studying/Paper-grading dates at 2 Story Coffeehouse!
* Georgia Football!

Today I've been going through my flashdrive from my student-teaching in college, and I found some awesome stuff--things I've completely forgotten! It's full of ideas, best-practices, and lesson plans from all the teachers/students/professors/fellow-students I worked with during my senior year of college! But my biggest takeaway is a confidence-builder from one of the weekly "journal entries" we had to write: 

I am very tired at the end of this week, because in addition to being observed, applying to TFA, going to the job fair, and teaching/planning full time, I also planned my friend’s bachelorette weekend and had two lengthy conference calls (along with time spent preparing for those) for my part-time job.

SO glad I'll be able to only focus on teaching this fall!! Hopefully, that semester prepared me for anything/everything from an exhaustion standpoint. I can't wait for my teaching adventure that's only a few weeks away now!! 

Parasites. . . gross.

PS (pre-script)- We didn't get that house we put an offer on. Still searching! Sorry for not updating people who read my last post! :)

People like to write inspirational things about love and ​marriage because people also like to read inspirational things about love and marriage. I'm not big on inspiration. . . it doesn't usually lead to change. This post is about hope--which changes everything. 

​This morning, the conflict was about cleaning (note--I did get Marshall's permission to post this :) ). On the spectrum of neat freak to messy, neither of us is an extreme, but I do lean towards neat freak, and Marshall would lean towards messy. We both left the conversation frustrated. 

There are a couple of things that led to resolution on my end: 1) Asking myself, "What's it like to be married to me?" Before we got married, a book I saw with that question as the title inspired me to ask myself that. Which made me realize "Sure, I can be fun to be around, but I'm also pretty hard on myself and pretty demanding of myself." That's right--I called it: I can be pretty demanding and pretty hard on Marshall. But we also have fun together. It's a big step in how I've always thought, for me to even realize that my harshness itself is sin--it's not justified just because I'm convinced I'm right and the other person is wrong. 

The second thing that led to resolution for me was remembering the reality portrayed in Romans 5:8- "But God demonstrates his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." CS Lewis elaborates on this idea so well in The Four Loves: 

God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that he may love and perfect them. . . If I may dare the biological image, God is a 'host' who deliberately creates His own parasites; causes us to be that we may exploit and 'take advantage of' Him. Herein is love. This is the diagram of Love Himself, the inventor of all loves.

Marshall and I are "parasites" to each other sometimes--hurting and insulting each other. But what brings my heart to repentance and forgiveness is seeing the great love of our God. He needed nothing, but gave me life so that he could love me--knowing that I could never return that love to the degree he's given it to me. And that's the love described by Romans 5:8-- that when I had done nothing to deserve God's love, when I didn't want his love and didn't know I needed his love in order to be saved, he gave his life for me. God's love for me starts with me at zero-- me meriting nothing. But he gives generously! How can I self-righteously condemn another person for not being "good enough" in whatever standard I hold, when I know that I can never ever be "good enough"--and that God loved me before I could even acknowledge that I don't  measure up? 

I'm able to forgive and forget, knowing we will probably keep having this argument, when I rest in the love God has given to me in Jesus and let that fuel loving the people around me. I find inexpressible joy in my hope in Christ! 

We made an offer on this crazy awesome house. The awesome part is that just last year, it was worth more than double what it is now, but now WE can afford it because it foreclosed. It's on a cul-de-sac, it's beautiful, in a great neighborhood, in a great location--so many things about it are perfect. The crazy part is that WE are trying to buy it. It's been on the market like 48 hours now, and it has around 20 offers. Because it's that awesome. It would be CRAZY if we get this house.

Our lender is awesome. So is our realtor. They've worked with us so much more than I would have expected this weekend, to help us have the best chance possible of getting this house. But when it comes down to it, we KNOW it will be an act of GOD if they choose OUR offer. Maybe they'll think we're cute and want us to have it? We'd be so much better in an interview than on paper.

I haven't been able to nap this afternoon even though I'm still tired from Passion, because my mind and heart are racing thinking about "OMG what if we get this house?! NO--don't get too excited, there's no way y'all will get it."

And the way I'm coping haha right now is remembering that, as they helped us meditate on at Passion, God does immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. Specifically, Paul gives thanks in Ephesians 3:20 "to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think. . . " I've been able to chill out a little thinking about all the ways I've seen God do ABUNDANTLY MORE in my life than I ever could have known to ask. I've concluded that yes, we are asking for this house, and it would be MORE than we could have expected. But we've already seen God give abundantly through the amazing people we get to work with--our lender, realtor, and family--and HE himself, knowing him, is so much more than I ever could have asked or imagined. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose." So maybe the "good" he has for us is getting this house. Maybe it's not. I've seen him be faithful to this promise in ways I would have wanted and in ways I never could have imagined--so that's what I'm "resting" in, as I attempt to rest and catch up on sleep.

I mean watch the premier of Downton Abbey.

We'll find out about the house on THURSDAY!!

I/ know a place/ where the grass is really greenest

I got the chance to go to California recently for a conference, and Katy Perry is right: the grass really IS greener. Sprinklers galore.

Green grass-- a symbol of prosperity, of life as we wish it was. I've found Wesley Hill's book Washed and Waiting to be a captivating meditation (applicable to any sinner whose hope is in Jesus!) on the fact that life in this world isn't as we wish it was. It has helped me to find hope in the fact that there are things I long for that will never be satisfied in this world--but this world is not all that there is. Every person ever, should read his book!

Also this week, Marshall and I took an 84-hour tour of the southeast, celebrating Christmas and staying with family for less than 24 hours in like 5 or 6 cities. Which meant lots of time in the car, which for us means lots of time reading aloud. We read mostly from Randy Alcorn's Heaven, and it is filling me with anticipation for what comes next (everyone should also read this book!). Because what comes next for the sinner who knows and trusts Jesus IS a life that is better than we ever imagined it could be! Christ's birth--what we celebrate on Christmas--began the work that ends with everything sad becoming untrue. Everything wrong being righted. Every tear gone.

"Hark the Herald Angels Sing" is my favorite Christmas carol; it's emotional for me to sing such an exciting song about something that really is THAT exciting to me:

Hark! the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!"
Joyful, all ye nations rise;
Join the triumph of the skies;
With angelic host proclaim
"Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
Hark! the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Hail! the heaven-born Prince of Peace!
Hail! the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings,
Risen with healing in His wings.Mild He lays His glory by,
Born that man no more may die;
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King"

 

I bolded my favorite lines. . .  I love that, even though most of the time Christmas is about Santa, ipads, food, and family, there is still a time that we set aside to celebrate the great hope that Jesus offers to the world! 

 

The green grass thing came up this morning, when I was thinking about a Phil Wickham song, where he's imagining Heaven, saying, "I want to run on greener pastures/ I want to dance on higher hills. . ." It's beautiful imagery. I think that Katy Perry does express something universal: that we all want something better than what we have. Greener grass. But I look forward to something FAR better than being a "California Gurl": the hope of Heaven, made possible to me, a sinner, by Jesus Christ.

Love for the Shrugger [SPOILERS]

Someone evaluating my life  (I'm a little paranoid/perfectionistic) might tell me I should read more Christian books; I read a good number, but I also read a lot of completely secular fiction. I consistently find, though, that the stories in the books I read help me understand things in the Bible as they apply to my life. Like the illustration of a Christian's reaction to grace at the end of Jane Eyre: She receives a fortune, and immediately realizes that she wants more than anything to share it with the people she loves the most. [insert what Paul says in the introductions any of his letters] Or seeing the effects of a broken relationship between Creation and Creator in Frankenstein [Insert Romans 1]. Or understanding the pain, necessity, and gain of cutting off "sin that so easily entangles" (Heb. 12:1), illustrated in Between a Rock and a Hard Place. And so many others!

This morning at Perimeter, Randy mentioned the story of imprisonment and torture of a middle eastern pastor whom he had the opportunity to meet recently; it was a side point, but I barely heard anything else he said because I kept thinking about the horror of what he described and asking, Would I be willing to suffer that much for the Lord? and trying to find ways of getting around admitting, "Well, probably no."

I'm reading Atlas Shrugged and watching the rain, the Falcons, and my house plants--and the topic of suffering for something you love/believe came up in Atlas Shrugged. Francisco tells Dagny, "The measure of the hell you're able to endure is the measure of your love. The hell I couldn't bear to witness would be to see you being indifferent."

My first thought was, I'm not sure what measure of hell I am willing to endure out of love for the Lord; I remembered Revelation 3:16, "So, because you are lukewarm [indifferent], and neither hot nore cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." What I remembered right after that was, Jesus endured LITERAL hell out of love for me, to save me. "Greater love has no one than this: that someone lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). Clearly, Jesus' love for me is greater than I realize.

Maybe I did hear the rest of what Randy said, because his message from Romans 8:35-39 was that Christ loves me in spite of my lack of love for Him. ". . . While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). THAT truth is the small seed for the love I have for him now. Clearly it's a seed for something huge if people are willing to lose everything for His sake, as He did for us. I do see though that the more I look at Christ, the more I see his love for me, and the more my love for him grows. So I attempt to "look"at him often--by reading the Bible, talking about him, thinking about him, and finding glimpses of him in fiction books!

My bad lesson from a children's Bible

I'm going running in 10 minutes, so let's see if I can say this concisely:

The moral of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah's story in Genesis 29-33 is not, as I've always believed, "You'll be loved if you're beautiful, and it sucks not to be beautiful because you won't be liked." It was pretty much my favorite story from my children's Bible, and I think it's because I read it to be about a great guy who adores a really pretty girl (named Rachel--haha).

But the more I read the Bible, and after re-reading those chapters yesterday, it is so clear that the Bible is not a book of stories about beautiful, idyllic people. Jacob's life was a wreck! Full of drama that that he caused. But God chose to bless him AND bring Christ into the world through his lineage. And for whatever reason, he did not choose Jacob's older brother who forgave Jacob after Jacob cheated him out of his inheritance. Also, Rachel is not the one God chose to bless. God used one of Leah's sons to bring Christ into the world, and he gave her tons of children (definitely more kids than I hope He gives me!). It dawned on me yesterday that the moral of the story in Genesis 29-33 is that God delights to bless unloved and unwanted people! The Bible is very clearly a story of God's making a ruined world beautiful!

My prayer is that God will embed those truths in my heart. My life would look very different if I truly believed that. I would find delight in the Lord in a way that I don't now because I am too busy trying to be lovely and desirable, when he says that it's okay that I'm not. WHILE I WAS STILL A SINNER, Christ died for me (Romans 5:8). And because of Christ, I am loved and forgiven. That's good news!

Recently, I had the shocking realization that Marshall and I are living a lifestyle we cant afford.

It's taken us this long to realize it, because we aren't the ones shouldering the debt we owe (spiritually or practically). From the little bit of research we've done so far, it's clear that there are people around the world and in the US who are oppressed, and they are the ones providing the cheap materials for products we buy and use every day. That's something I've heard my whole life, but I'm just now "getting" what that means and that I can do something about it.

Here's what we're doing, for a start:

• Learning about our role in oppressing others at http://slaveryfootprint.org/ , and becoming more educated about what Fair Trade products exist.
• Chosing, for now, two products that we will only buy Fair Trade: Coffee and Bananas--and adding products to our list as we become more educated.  
• Committing to spending more money to buy Fair Trade items instead of what we're used to buying
• Raise awareness for this issue among the people we know, as well as in the businesses we support

But here's WHY we're doing it:

God started laying this on my heart a few weeks ago while I ran across Isaiah 58:5-6 while reading Tim Keller's The Reason for God. Here's God, speaking to Israel through the prophet Isaiah:

"Is such the fast that I choose, a day for a person to humble himself? Is it to bow down his head like a reed, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? Will you call this a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?

"Is this not the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?"

Strangely, though, this conviction hasn't come to me as the guilt-ridden burden it could seem like (which is how I've always perceived stuff like this before). Here's why: I have a lot of issues. First-world-problem stuff: Insecurities, based on what our culture values and based on wanting the approval of people around me. I've learned this principle recently: Those issues seem like a HUGE DEAL to me when I focus on them. But they seem a lot less huge when I seek to know who God is and when I reach out to care for others.

God also says in Isaiah 58 that when I obey his command to care for the needy, my "healing shall spring up speedily"; I will "call, and the Lord will answer" and also that "The Lord will guide [me] continually and satisfy my desire in scorched places." Summarizing an idea from these things and the rest of the chapter, God's saying to me that in caring for the poor and oppressed, he will also care for me and set me free from the things I desire that can never satisfy. I'm seeing that whatever "sacrifices" we'll make out of obedience to the Lord's call aren't sacrifices at all because we will gain Him. Basically, I want to  make this change in a desperate attempt to get rid of the things that enslave me and gain more of God Himself.

With all of this in mind, we've begun praying about what God is calling us to change in this coming year. Because it will  be a year of change, as Marshall starts law school who-knows-where, next fall. It will definitely be an adventure!!