Running just hits a sweet spot sometimes. I LOVE it. My favorite runs are the ones I go on at sunset, when I have nothing else planned for the day and I can go as long and as hard as I want to. Some days, I don't leave enough time for my run, and I decide that a short, rushed run is better than no run. Recently, I haven't been running much but working out at the gym instead. Which has been great because I go with friends--but running is definitely my first love. I am REALLY excited for my run this morning--I knew I had to run today the second I woke up and I saw what today looked like. It is GORGEOUS outside!! I usually don't feel very well when I run in the mornings but at least I'll get to be outside!
Running/working out is a discipline for me. So is reading the Bible. I've learned that the intangible and unmeasurable benefits of a discipline are what distinguish a discipline from work or a hobby. For me, it's different even than the process of attaining a goal because there won't be a point in my life when I say "I've done it!" with regard to running--and then never run again. It'll be a life-long thing.
I also rarely ask myself if I want to work out or run; there are a lot of times I don't want to but I know I'll be unhappy if I don't. There are incredible runs and terrible runs and runs I'm indifferent about. But if I didn't run consistently, I wouldn't experience any of that! Same with reading the Word--sometimes God encourages me in my deepest insecurities; other days, I don't experience anything spectacular. But it's the consistency that causes me to grow and enables me to experience those life-changing moments. I bet I'll find that marriage can be like a discipline in that way as well.
But today is a day where I can't wait to go running! Hopefully it'll be a day where I feel good and experience that "runner's high" of seemingly unending endurance. I love it!!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Evidence
I came home today to an empty house (yes, I live with my parents), but I arrived at the same time as one of our close family friends who had come to give a card and flowers to my mom for her birthday. I brought them inside, and as I got a snack, I started noticing the evidence of how my mom spent her birthday: a note on the counter saying one of my cousins is coming in town February 10, several birthday gifts on the kitchen table, sticky-note reminders to my dad, sister and me, reminder of the day and time of my cousin's drivers license test that my mom registered her for, and a packed lunch in the refrigerator for Mary Anna. Someone my mom is really close to is in a really tough situation, and my mom spent last night at her house to make sure she is not alone and is okay. She will spend tonight there as well.
The care that my mom demonstrates constantly towards others is evidence of her faith in the Lord. He cares and provides and shows compassion--out of love for his people. My mom knows His love and as an outpouring of that, she gives her life for supporting and meeting needs of others. My mom's service of me and others gives me a glimpse of the depth of strength and rootedness to be found in the Lord--and I want that. Of course I want to be more like my mom; but ultimately God's work in her life is the reason for so much of who she is. So I realized that in wanting to be more like my mom, I am essentially wanting to be more like Jesus who is the ultimate example of self-sacrifice.
I don't know if I could ever know or express thanks for all that my mom does for me and others, but I'm thankful for her, and I love her!
The care that my mom demonstrates constantly towards others is evidence of her faith in the Lord. He cares and provides and shows compassion--out of love for his people. My mom knows His love and as an outpouring of that, she gives her life for supporting and meeting needs of others. My mom's service of me and others gives me a glimpse of the depth of strength and rootedness to be found in the Lord--and I want that. Of course I want to be more like my mom; but ultimately God's work in her life is the reason for so much of who she is. So I realized that in wanting to be more like my mom, I am essentially wanting to be more like Jesus who is the ultimate example of self-sacrifice.
I don't know if I could ever know or express thanks for all that my mom does for me and others, but I'm thankful for her, and I love her!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
No excuses!
I haven't blogged in a few days--I guess since all the excitement of the two newest Sims girls arriving home from China with Mike and Meritt. It's been glorious to be with them; I've never experienced anything like the feeling I get when they run up the driveway to jump into my arms when I arrive at their house or when they want to show me their pink fingernails that Mom painted or even watching them learn to love Mabel, the dog (who they were really scared of at first). I feel blessed to get to know them!!
I ran into something in Jeremiah last week that I didn't quite know how to handle--that also may have been a hold-up on my blogging (haha not that I'm expecting that there are people daily clamoring for another post!). People are trying to harm Jeremiah because of what he is saying to them when he has given up everything to proclaim God's words to Israel, to call them to repent. He calls out to God and asks if he cares and if he will defend him, and God essentially says that he will save anyone who repents--and points out Jeremiah's sin of not trusting God in that moment. My thought was "Of course he trusts God! He's given up everything to follow God's calling--if anyone is standing on what they believe, it's Jeremiah."
I revisited it this morning and realized that the application for me is that there isn't any excuse for my sin. God doesn't excuse people's sins because it's "understandable"--it is apparently sin to waver in trusting God even in the most seemingly undeserving suffering. That also means for me that if another person wrongs me, I am still fully responsible for my reaction--no matter how unreasonable the other person is. In my sin, he calls me to repent; to confess, look to Christ as the one who has paid the penalty, and resolve to change. And I know that life/heart change like that is only possible through the Holy Spirit's softening and transforming of my heart. God is good! And even though he is so righteous--sinless--there is forgiveness for me because Christ was so righteous!
I ran into something in Jeremiah last week that I didn't quite know how to handle--that also may have been a hold-up on my blogging (haha not that I'm expecting that there are people daily clamoring for another post!). People are trying to harm Jeremiah because of what he is saying to them when he has given up everything to proclaim God's words to Israel, to call them to repent. He calls out to God and asks if he cares and if he will defend him, and God essentially says that he will save anyone who repents--and points out Jeremiah's sin of not trusting God in that moment. My thought was "Of course he trusts God! He's given up everything to follow God's calling--if anyone is standing on what they believe, it's Jeremiah."
I revisited it this morning and realized that the application for me is that there isn't any excuse for my sin. God doesn't excuse people's sins because it's "understandable"--it is apparently sin to waver in trusting God even in the most seemingly undeserving suffering. That also means for me that if another person wrongs me, I am still fully responsible for my reaction--no matter how unreasonable the other person is. In my sin, he calls me to repent; to confess, look to Christ as the one who has paid the penalty, and resolve to change. And I know that life/heart change like that is only possible through the Holy Spirit's softening and transforming of my heart. God is good! And even though he is so righteous--sinless--there is forgiveness for me because Christ was so righteous!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Submission
In the months of Marshall's and my engagement I've examined my life a lot, asking the question, "What is it going to be like to be married to me?" What are my annoying habits? Which of my weaknesses is going to have the biggest impact on me and Marshall's relationship? Are there things I can begin to grow in now that will benefit Marshall?
That thought process has helped me approach wedding planning with greater humility recently. Instead of getting frustrated with differences in how my mom and I want to do things, I've been trying to look at what I'm doing to create conflict and determine if it's representative of a consistent trait throughout my life--and pray that the Lord would grow and change me.
A related area that I need to grow in is submission. One of my coworkers teases me that I show what he considers to be symptoms of being the oldest child in my family. I'm definitely not offering that as an excuse, but I do have trouble submitting to authority. As I tried to fall back asleep when I woke up before my alarm this morning, I thought about a small but telling example of my unwillingness to submit from yesterday. I was reminded that submission to the authorities God has placed in my life (one of which will be my husband in 2 months!) is essentially trusting God. I truly do believe that the Lord knows better than I do what is best for me and that he cares for me AND that he works all things--seemingly positive or negative--for my good. So this is me choosing to walk in obedience in big and small ways by submitting to God-given authorities in my life, trusting that whatever the outcome, God has a perfect plan and is in control.
Oh, and MIKE AND MERITT GET HOME FROM CHINA TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to meet Maggie and Mary Henley in person!!!!!!!!!!
That thought process has helped me approach wedding planning with greater humility recently. Instead of getting frustrated with differences in how my mom and I want to do things, I've been trying to look at what I'm doing to create conflict and determine if it's representative of a consistent trait throughout my life--and pray that the Lord would grow and change me.
A related area that I need to grow in is submission. One of my coworkers teases me that I show what he considers to be symptoms of being the oldest child in my family. I'm definitely not offering that as an excuse, but I do have trouble submitting to authority. As I tried to fall back asleep when I woke up before my alarm this morning, I thought about a small but telling example of my unwillingness to submit from yesterday. I was reminded that submission to the authorities God has placed in my life (one of which will be my husband in 2 months!) is essentially trusting God. I truly do believe that the Lord knows better than I do what is best for me and that he cares for me AND that he works all things--seemingly positive or negative--for my good. So this is me choosing to walk in obedience in big and small ways by submitting to God-given authorities in my life, trusting that whatever the outcome, God has a perfect plan and is in control.
Oh, and MIKE AND MERITT GET HOME FROM CHINA TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to meet Maggie and Mary Henley in person!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
ALL Scripture is Breathed-Out by God
I've been reading Between a Rock and a Hard Place, the lesser-known title of the book/story behind the movie "127 Hours". It's been a great book so far, but at the point where I am, I can't believe he hasn't cut his arm off yet! It seems like he would see that he doesn't have to drag it out like this--he's already been trapped for 96 hours, and he's resigning to death rather than re-attempting to cut his arm off. Come on, Aron!
Last night I was surprised and weirded-out while reading about some hallucinations he's having--mostly because it sounded a lot like the book of Revelation in the Bible. And I'm pretty sure he hasn't read Revelation. He's in a situation of extreme suffering, and an unidentified man in a white robe comes to him to show him visions of his family and friends (haha this also reminds me of "A Christmas Carol"). He finds great comfort in these hallucinations--they're an escape from his suffering.
Which caused me to ask the question, "Does this say something about the validity of Revelation?" John, the apostle who wrote it, was under exteme suffering for proclaiming the Good News about Jesus. And he has lengthy indecipherable visions of Jesus' future return and reign on the earth--in which he finds great comfort because of his suffering and exile.
I revisited the idea this morning by reading some of the beginning of Revelation, and it was apparent right away that yes, maybe it's similar in that extreme suffering led to visions that allowed both the apostle John AND the person Aron Ralston to mentally escape their circumstances. But John wrote words from God to real churches of his day--and they are prophetic, insightful words that address the hearts of the people of those churches; he wrote things he couldn't have known apart from a revelation from God. Then he has a bunch of crazy visions. From God. But chapters 1-3 were enough to reassure me that, no, the Bible is not comprised of the ramblings of madmen. And obviously, if I've based my entire life on the Bible, this isn't nearly the first time I've made sure it's valid--I've done a good amount of reading/research on the topic.
There are a lot of writings out there about the validity of the Bible; Lee Strobel is the person who comes to mind who has recently done a lot of research. He actually became a Christian because of his research on the Christianity's validity and veracity. If you're interested, here's a link to Lee's website that contains articles and videos on the topic:
http://www.leestrobel.com/
Last night I was surprised and weirded-out while reading about some hallucinations he's having--mostly because it sounded a lot like the book of Revelation in the Bible. And I'm pretty sure he hasn't read Revelation. He's in a situation of extreme suffering, and an unidentified man in a white robe comes to him to show him visions of his family and friends (haha this also reminds me of "A Christmas Carol"). He finds great comfort in these hallucinations--they're an escape from his suffering.
Which caused me to ask the question, "Does this say something about the validity of Revelation?" John, the apostle who wrote it, was under exteme suffering for proclaiming the Good News about Jesus. And he has lengthy indecipherable visions of Jesus' future return and reign on the earth--in which he finds great comfort because of his suffering and exile.
I revisited the idea this morning by reading some of the beginning of Revelation, and it was apparent right away that yes, maybe it's similar in that extreme suffering led to visions that allowed both the apostle John AND the person Aron Ralston to mentally escape their circumstances. But John wrote words from God to real churches of his day--and they are prophetic, insightful words that address the hearts of the people of those churches; he wrote things he couldn't have known apart from a revelation from God. Then he has a bunch of crazy visions. From God. But chapters 1-3 were enough to reassure me that, no, the Bible is not comprised of the ramblings of madmen. And obviously, if I've based my entire life on the Bible, this isn't nearly the first time I've made sure it's valid--I've done a good amount of reading/research on the topic.
There are a lot of writings out there about the validity of the Bible; Lee Strobel is the person who comes to mind who has recently done a lot of research. He actually became a Christian because of his research on the Christianity's validity and veracity. If you're interested, here's a link to Lee's website that contains articles and videos on the topic:
http://www.leestrobel.com/
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
OH Emotions
So normally I only share thoughts/emotions with people--anyone--that are positive or indifferent. If I'm hurt by something that happens to me or is said to me, I skip over it--I'm truly not sensitive. [So no fear, those of you who I joke with constantly.] When I am emotionally affected, which is rare, I typically don't need/want to mull over it. I want to get over it and move on.
But there are those few subjects or things that upset me--I know, probably things that I have my identity tied up in that I shouldn't allow to define me. And there are those few things in the past that hurt. Through saying "It hurts" to 2 trusted people in the last few weeks, I remembered what it's like to become closer to someone through weakness. It's a good thing.
What a blessing to allow Marshall "in" and let him come through for me! Because he's there for me--and he's the only person I can talk to about a lot of things. And what a blessing to have a friend like Monica--we walked together as roommates through a confusing and emotionally tumultuous 3 month study abroad in Spain. It is good to talk with trustworthy people about things I just can't "get over" on my own. So I guess this is a shout out to Marshall and Mon, and an encouragement to others like myself: it's good sometimes to tell others "It hurts".
But there are those few subjects or things that upset me--I know, probably things that I have my identity tied up in that I shouldn't allow to define me. And there are those few things in the past that hurt. Through saying "It hurts" to 2 trusted people in the last few weeks, I remembered what it's like to become closer to someone through weakness. It's a good thing.
What a blessing to allow Marshall "in" and let him come through for me! Because he's there for me--and he's the only person I can talk to about a lot of things. And what a blessing to have a friend like Monica--we walked together as roommates through a confusing and emotionally tumultuous 3 month study abroad in Spain. It is good to talk with trustworthy people about things I just can't "get over" on my own. So I guess this is a shout out to Marshall and Mon, and an encouragement to others like myself: it's good sometimes to tell others "It hurts".
Monday, January 16, 2012
Pride and Paradox
This weekend was great--I processed Passion some more with Sara Sam on Friday night. I don't think I'm copping out when I say that God definitely used it in my life, but it wasn't a week of EXTREME change. God is using Passion AND his Word and other things in my life to cause change.
Reading Jeremiah 13 Saturday morning in the context of what I had read the day before made me see that I can't change my heart; only the Lord can. I saw the stubbornness of my heart in that I hold onto things of this world, hoping for happiness--when I am in reality a God-forsaking idolator in doing so. But if following the Lord requires my heart, which I can't change (in addition to my actions, which I more or less can change)--then He is my only hope for true change.
This morning, some verses in Jeremiah 14 resonated with me; I can't quite decide why. It reads, "Although our sins testify against us, O Lord, do something for the sake of your name. For our backsliding is great; we have sinned against you. . . You are among us, O Lord, and we bear your name; do not forsake us!" Maybe it struck a chord because it tells me that God's purposes in the world are BIGGER than just getting rid of my sin. That God isn't not working in the world around me because of my sin. God mentions in chapter 13 that his people are created for his renown, praise, and honor; how could I forget that he DOES use people in spite of themselves to display His glory. In fact, we talked about that during our CSO staff "retreat" this morning now that I think about it:
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord'" (1 Corinthians 1:27-31).
What a beautiful paradox (what did we call it? we were trying to put it in kid-friendly language haha)-- that it's the weak and lowly things in this world that he chooses to bring himself honor. I truly have nothing to bring him in myself--only sin. But he planned it that way and sent Christ to redeem me. And truly, the blessings and beautiful aspects of my life are a result of his work. I have been changed and made new; not by my own effort--only by his work! I'm really not just saying that. I forget it often and boast not in him but in myself-- but it has to be said that I have seen how his love and truth have drastically transformed my life! It is a beautiful thing that Christ would suffer and die so that I can be made new by the power of his resurrection!
And I think I should add on that Christ's death and resurrection ultimately aren't even about me or people in general. It's all "to the glory of God the Father" (Philippians 2:11). We are a part of his plan and he loves us deeply--but ultimately, it's all about God. If it weren't, he wouldn't be God.
Reading Jeremiah 13 Saturday morning in the context of what I had read the day before made me see that I can't change my heart; only the Lord can. I saw the stubbornness of my heart in that I hold onto things of this world, hoping for happiness--when I am in reality a God-forsaking idolator in doing so. But if following the Lord requires my heart, which I can't change (in addition to my actions, which I more or less can change)--then He is my only hope for true change.
This morning, some verses in Jeremiah 14 resonated with me; I can't quite decide why. It reads, "Although our sins testify against us, O Lord, do something for the sake of your name. For our backsliding is great; we have sinned against you. . . You are among us, O Lord, and we bear your name; do not forsake us!" Maybe it struck a chord because it tells me that God's purposes in the world are BIGGER than just getting rid of my sin. That God isn't not working in the world around me because of my sin. God mentions in chapter 13 that his people are created for his renown, praise, and honor; how could I forget that he DOES use people in spite of themselves to display His glory. In fact, we talked about that during our CSO staff "retreat" this morning now that I think about it:
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord'" (1 Corinthians 1:27-31).
What a beautiful paradox (what did we call it? we were trying to put it in kid-friendly language haha)-- that it's the weak and lowly things in this world that he chooses to bring himself honor. I truly have nothing to bring him in myself--only sin. But he planned it that way and sent Christ to redeem me. And truly, the blessings and beautiful aspects of my life are a result of his work. I have been changed and made new; not by my own effort--only by his work! I'm really not just saying that. I forget it often and boast not in him but in myself-- but it has to be said that I have seen how his love and truth have drastically transformed my life! It is a beautiful thing that Christ would suffer and die so that I can be made new by the power of his resurrection!
And I think I should add on that Christ's death and resurrection ultimately aren't even about me or people in general. It's all "to the glory of God the Father" (Philippians 2:11). We are a part of his plan and he loves us deeply--but ultimately, it's all about God. If it weren't, he wouldn't be God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)