I'm going running in 10 minutes, so let's see if I can say this concisely:
The moral of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah's story in Genesis 29-33 is not, as I've always believed, "You'll be loved if you're beautiful, and it sucks not to be beautiful because you won't be liked." It was pretty much my favorite story from my children's Bible, and I think it's because I read it to be about a great guy who adores a really pretty girl (named Rachel--haha).
But the more I read the Bible, and after re-reading those chapters yesterday, it is so clear that the Bible is not a book of stories about beautiful, idyllic people. Jacob's life was a wreck! Full of drama that that he caused. But God chose to bless him AND bring Christ into the world through his lineage. And for whatever reason, he did not choose Jacob's older brother who forgave Jacob after Jacob cheated him out of his inheritance. Also, Rachel is not the one God chose to bless. God used one of Leah's sons to bring Christ into the world, and he gave her tons of children (definitely more kids than I hope He gives me!). It dawned on me yesterday that the moral of the story in Genesis 29-33 is that God delights to bless unloved and unwanted people! The Bible is very clearly a story of God's making a ruined world beautiful!
My prayer is that God will embed those truths in my heart. My life would look very different if I truly believed that. I would find delight in the Lord in a way that I don't now because I am too busy trying to be lovely and desirable, when he says that it's okay that I'm not. WHILE I WAS STILL A SINNER, Christ died for me (Romans 5:8). And because of Christ, I am loved and forgiven. That's good news!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Recently, I had the shocking realization that Marshall and I are living a lifestyle we cant afford.
It's taken us this long to realize it, because we aren't the ones shouldering the debt we owe (spiritually or practically). From the little bit of research we've done so far, it's clear that there are people around the world and in the US who are oppressed, and they are the ones providing the cheap materials for products we buy and use every day. That's something I've heard my whole life, but I'm just now "getting" what that means and that I can do something about it.
Here's what we're doing, for a start:
God started laying this on my heart a few weeks ago while I ran across Isaiah 58:5-6 while reading Tim Keller's The Reason for God. Here's God, speaking to Israel through the prophet Isaiah:
"Is such the fast that I choose, a day for a person to humble himself? Is it to bow down his head like a reed, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? Will you call this a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?
"Is this not the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?"
Strangely, though, this conviction hasn't come to me as the guilt-ridden burden it could seem like (which is how I've always perceived stuff like this before). Here's why: I have a lot of issues. First-world-problem stuff: Insecurities, based on what our culture values and based on wanting the approval of people around me. I've learned this principle recently: Those issues seem like a HUGE DEAL to me when I focus on them. But they seem a lot less huge when I seek to know who God is and when I reach out to care for others.
God also says in Isaiah 58 that when I obey his command to care for the needy, my "healing shall spring up speedily"; I will "call, and the Lord will answer" and also that "The Lord will guide [me] continually and satisfy my desire in scorched places." Summarizing an idea from these things and the rest of the chapter, God's saying to me that in caring for the poor and oppressed, he will also care for me and set me free from the things I desire that can never satisfy. I'm seeing that whatever "sacrifices" we'll make out of obedience to the Lord's call aren't sacrifices at all because we will gain Him. Basically, I want to make this change in a desperate attempt to get rid of the things that enslave me and gain more of God Himself.
With all of this in mind, we've begun praying about what God is calling us to change in this coming year. Because it will be a year of change, as Marshall starts law school who-knows-where, next fall. It will definitely be an adventure!!
Here's what we're doing, for a start:
- Learning about our role in oppressing others at http://slaveryfootprint.org/ , and becoming more educated about what Fair Trade products exist.
- Chosing, for now, two products that we will only buy Fair Trade: Coffee and Bananas--and adding products to our list as we become more educated.
- Committing to spending more money to buy Fair Trade items instead of what we're used to buying
- Raise awareness for this issue among the people we know, as well as in the businesses we support
God started laying this on my heart a few weeks ago while I ran across Isaiah 58:5-6 while reading Tim Keller's The Reason for God. Here's God, speaking to Israel through the prophet Isaiah:
"Is such the fast that I choose, a day for a person to humble himself? Is it to bow down his head like a reed, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? Will you call this a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?
"Is this not the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?"
Strangely, though, this conviction hasn't come to me as the guilt-ridden burden it could seem like (which is how I've always perceived stuff like this before). Here's why: I have a lot of issues. First-world-problem stuff: Insecurities, based on what our culture values and based on wanting the approval of people around me. I've learned this principle recently: Those issues seem like a HUGE DEAL to me when I focus on them. But they seem a lot less huge when I seek to know who God is and when I reach out to care for others.
God also says in Isaiah 58 that when I obey his command to care for the needy, my "healing shall spring up speedily"; I will "call, and the Lord will answer" and also that "The Lord will guide [me] continually and satisfy my desire in scorched places." Summarizing an idea from these things and the rest of the chapter, God's saying to me that in caring for the poor and oppressed, he will also care for me and set me free from the things I desire that can never satisfy. I'm seeing that whatever "sacrifices" we'll make out of obedience to the Lord's call aren't sacrifices at all because we will gain Him. Basically, I want to make this change in a desperate attempt to get rid of the things that enslave me and gain more of God Himself.
With all of this in mind, we've begun praying about what God is calling us to change in this coming year. Because it will be a year of change, as Marshall starts law school who-knows-where, next fall. It will definitely be an adventure!!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Something Special
I just got really excited about Valentine's Day this year--Last night the Theta Xi house at Tech was bustling with Valentine's preparations. One guy was building his girlfriend a jewelry box and making plans to make her dinner and take her to see a sappy chick flick--even though the other guys made fun of him for doing it. Another guy was creating a collection of notes to slip to his girlfriend during the day and was taking her out to dinner. His girlfriend had her own plans to creatively give him a sort of "save the date" for having a nerf war with each other. Marshall asked me about Valentine's Day last week before I'd remembered it was coming up and made plans with me for when we'd celebrate; he took me out to dinner last night to a restaurant that has sentimental meaning for me. It was really sweet, and we had a great time at dinner and hanging out with his friends!
Last week, my mom mailed Valentine's packages to all my cousins who are in college. And this morning, I woke up to a Valentine's Day package from my mom--she had put together packages for us all (me, Mary Anna, and my dad) in pretty bags with candies we like in them. As we were all opening our packages, Mary Anna showed me the cookies she'd made for her boyfriend that spelled out "Be my Valentine" with icing. About that time, her boyfriend called and told her to come outside to where he had pulled up in front of our house--he had woken up early to bring her flowers and a framed picture of them.
I just love when people make things special! Valentine's Day can either be stupid/corny, OR you can embrace all the dumb stuff and take advantage of the opportunity to do something special for someone else. When I get stressed about wedding planning, I try to remind myself how special all the planning makes that day. My mom is great at making things special for other people--she's done it for me my whole life! And I generally take it for granted and consider all the "extras" to be unnecessary. But little details are part of making something really special.
I also think of how God called Israel to consecrate themselves before big events--I think of, in particular, before he gave them the law and made a covenant with them in Exodus 34. He calls them to change their lifestyle for a particular time and to do extra things that he doesn't normally ask them to do. Because of that, my prayer in all the preparations for our wedding is that God would be preparing my heart for what is ahead. When step back to think about it, I am thankful for the meticulous details of planning a wedding. All the time spent preparing emphasizes the weight of what Marshall and I are about to do--and I am thankful that both our culture and my family agrees that a wedding is an occasion to celebrate! So it's easy for me to complain about how I have to put so much time into wedding-related details that don't seem to matter, but I pray that the Lord would remind me when I want to complain that it is SO worth-it to go to great lengths in preparation for a truly special occasion.
Last week, my mom mailed Valentine's packages to all my cousins who are in college. And this morning, I woke up to a Valentine's Day package from my mom--she had put together packages for us all (me, Mary Anna, and my dad) in pretty bags with candies we like in them. As we were all opening our packages, Mary Anna showed me the cookies she'd made for her boyfriend that spelled out "Be my Valentine" with icing. About that time, her boyfriend called and told her to come outside to where he had pulled up in front of our house--he had woken up early to bring her flowers and a framed picture of them.
I just love when people make things special! Valentine's Day can either be stupid/corny, OR you can embrace all the dumb stuff and take advantage of the opportunity to do something special for someone else. When I get stressed about wedding planning, I try to remind myself how special all the planning makes that day. My mom is great at making things special for other people--she's done it for me my whole life! And I generally take it for granted and consider all the "extras" to be unnecessary. But little details are part of making something really special.
I also think of how God called Israel to consecrate themselves before big events--I think of, in particular, before he gave them the law and made a covenant with them in Exodus 34. He calls them to change their lifestyle for a particular time and to do extra things that he doesn't normally ask them to do. Because of that, my prayer in all the preparations for our wedding is that God would be preparing my heart for what is ahead. When step back to think about it, I am thankful for the meticulous details of planning a wedding. All the time spent preparing emphasizes the weight of what Marshall and I are about to do--and I am thankful that both our culture and my family agrees that a wedding is an occasion to celebrate! So it's easy for me to complain about how I have to put so much time into wedding-related details that don't seem to matter, but I pray that the Lord would remind me when I want to complain that it is SO worth-it to go to great lengths in preparation for a truly special occasion.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Discipline
Running just hits a sweet spot sometimes. I LOVE it. My favorite runs are the ones I go on at sunset, when I have nothing else planned for the day and I can go as long and as hard as I want to. Some days, I don't leave enough time for my run, and I decide that a short, rushed run is better than no run. Recently, I haven't been running much but working out at the gym instead. Which has been great because I go with friends--but running is definitely my first love. I am REALLY excited for my run this morning--I knew I had to run today the second I woke up and I saw what today looked like. It is GORGEOUS outside!! I usually don't feel very well when I run in the mornings but at least I'll get to be outside!
Running/working out is a discipline for me. So is reading the Bible. I've learned that the intangible and unmeasurable benefits of a discipline are what distinguish a discipline from work or a hobby. For me, it's different even than the process of attaining a goal because there won't be a point in my life when I say "I've done it!" with regard to running--and then never run again. It'll be a life-long thing.
I also rarely ask myself if I want to work out or run; there are a lot of times I don't want to but I know I'll be unhappy if I don't. There are incredible runs and terrible runs and runs I'm indifferent about. But if I didn't run consistently, I wouldn't experience any of that! Same with reading the Word--sometimes God encourages me in my deepest insecurities; other days, I don't experience anything spectacular. But it's the consistency that causes me to grow and enables me to experience those life-changing moments. I bet I'll find that marriage can be like a discipline in that way as well.
But today is a day where I can't wait to go running! Hopefully it'll be a day where I feel good and experience that "runner's high" of seemingly unending endurance. I love it!!
Running/working out is a discipline for me. So is reading the Bible. I've learned that the intangible and unmeasurable benefits of a discipline are what distinguish a discipline from work or a hobby. For me, it's different even than the process of attaining a goal because there won't be a point in my life when I say "I've done it!" with regard to running--and then never run again. It'll be a life-long thing.
I also rarely ask myself if I want to work out or run; there are a lot of times I don't want to but I know I'll be unhappy if I don't. There are incredible runs and terrible runs and runs I'm indifferent about. But if I didn't run consistently, I wouldn't experience any of that! Same with reading the Word--sometimes God encourages me in my deepest insecurities; other days, I don't experience anything spectacular. But it's the consistency that causes me to grow and enables me to experience those life-changing moments. I bet I'll find that marriage can be like a discipline in that way as well.
But today is a day where I can't wait to go running! Hopefully it'll be a day where I feel good and experience that "runner's high" of seemingly unending endurance. I love it!!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Evidence
I came home today to an empty house (yes, I live with my parents), but I arrived at the same time as one of our close family friends who had come to give a card and flowers to my mom for her birthday. I brought them inside, and as I got a snack, I started noticing the evidence of how my mom spent her birthday: a note on the counter saying one of my cousins is coming in town February 10, several birthday gifts on the kitchen table, sticky-note reminders to my dad, sister and me, reminder of the day and time of my cousin's drivers license test that my mom registered her for, and a packed lunch in the refrigerator for Mary Anna. Someone my mom is really close to is in a really tough situation, and my mom spent last night at her house to make sure she is not alone and is okay. She will spend tonight there as well.
The care that my mom demonstrates constantly towards others is evidence of her faith in the Lord. He cares and provides and shows compassion--out of love for his people. My mom knows His love and as an outpouring of that, she gives her life for supporting and meeting needs of others. My mom's service of me and others gives me a glimpse of the depth of strength and rootedness to be found in the Lord--and I want that. Of course I want to be more like my mom; but ultimately God's work in her life is the reason for so much of who she is. So I realized that in wanting to be more like my mom, I am essentially wanting to be more like Jesus who is the ultimate example of self-sacrifice.
I don't know if I could ever know or express thanks for all that my mom does for me and others, but I'm thankful for her, and I love her!
The care that my mom demonstrates constantly towards others is evidence of her faith in the Lord. He cares and provides and shows compassion--out of love for his people. My mom knows His love and as an outpouring of that, she gives her life for supporting and meeting needs of others. My mom's service of me and others gives me a glimpse of the depth of strength and rootedness to be found in the Lord--and I want that. Of course I want to be more like my mom; but ultimately God's work in her life is the reason for so much of who she is. So I realized that in wanting to be more like my mom, I am essentially wanting to be more like Jesus who is the ultimate example of self-sacrifice.
I don't know if I could ever know or express thanks for all that my mom does for me and others, but I'm thankful for her, and I love her!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
No excuses!
I haven't blogged in a few days--I guess since all the excitement of the two newest Sims girls arriving home from China with Mike and Meritt. It's been glorious to be with them; I've never experienced anything like the feeling I get when they run up the driveway to jump into my arms when I arrive at their house or when they want to show me their pink fingernails that Mom painted or even watching them learn to love Mabel, the dog (who they were really scared of at first). I feel blessed to get to know them!!
I ran into something in Jeremiah last week that I didn't quite know how to handle--that also may have been a hold-up on my blogging (haha not that I'm expecting that there are people daily clamoring for another post!). People are trying to harm Jeremiah because of what he is saying to them when he has given up everything to proclaim God's words to Israel, to call them to repent. He calls out to God and asks if he cares and if he will defend him, and God essentially says that he will save anyone who repents--and points out Jeremiah's sin of not trusting God in that moment. My thought was "Of course he trusts God! He's given up everything to follow God's calling--if anyone is standing on what they believe, it's Jeremiah."
I revisited it this morning and realized that the application for me is that there isn't any excuse for my sin. God doesn't excuse people's sins because it's "understandable"--it is apparently sin to waver in trusting God even in the most seemingly undeserving suffering. That also means for me that if another person wrongs me, I am still fully responsible for my reaction--no matter how unreasonable the other person is. In my sin, he calls me to repent; to confess, look to Christ as the one who has paid the penalty, and resolve to change. And I know that life/heart change like that is only possible through the Holy Spirit's softening and transforming of my heart. God is good! And even though he is so righteous--sinless--there is forgiveness for me because Christ was so righteous!
I ran into something in Jeremiah last week that I didn't quite know how to handle--that also may have been a hold-up on my blogging (haha not that I'm expecting that there are people daily clamoring for another post!). People are trying to harm Jeremiah because of what he is saying to them when he has given up everything to proclaim God's words to Israel, to call them to repent. He calls out to God and asks if he cares and if he will defend him, and God essentially says that he will save anyone who repents--and points out Jeremiah's sin of not trusting God in that moment. My thought was "Of course he trusts God! He's given up everything to follow God's calling--if anyone is standing on what they believe, it's Jeremiah."
I revisited it this morning and realized that the application for me is that there isn't any excuse for my sin. God doesn't excuse people's sins because it's "understandable"--it is apparently sin to waver in trusting God even in the most seemingly undeserving suffering. That also means for me that if another person wrongs me, I am still fully responsible for my reaction--no matter how unreasonable the other person is. In my sin, he calls me to repent; to confess, look to Christ as the one who has paid the penalty, and resolve to change. And I know that life/heart change like that is only possible through the Holy Spirit's softening and transforming of my heart. God is good! And even though he is so righteous--sinless--there is forgiveness for me because Christ was so righteous!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Submission
In the months of Marshall's and my engagement I've examined my life a lot, asking the question, "What is it going to be like to be married to me?" What are my annoying habits? Which of my weaknesses is going to have the biggest impact on me and Marshall's relationship? Are there things I can begin to grow in now that will benefit Marshall?
That thought process has helped me approach wedding planning with greater humility recently. Instead of getting frustrated with differences in how my mom and I want to do things, I've been trying to look at what I'm doing to create conflict and determine if it's representative of a consistent trait throughout my life--and pray that the Lord would grow and change me.
A related area that I need to grow in is submission. One of my coworkers teases me that I show what he considers to be symptoms of being the oldest child in my family. I'm definitely not offering that as an excuse, but I do have trouble submitting to authority. As I tried to fall back asleep when I woke up before my alarm this morning, I thought about a small but telling example of my unwillingness to submit from yesterday. I was reminded that submission to the authorities God has placed in my life (one of which will be my husband in 2 months!) is essentially trusting God. I truly do believe that the Lord knows better than I do what is best for me and that he cares for me AND that he works all things--seemingly positive or negative--for my good. So this is me choosing to walk in obedience in big and small ways by submitting to God-given authorities in my life, trusting that whatever the outcome, God has a perfect plan and is in control.
Oh, and MIKE AND MERITT GET HOME FROM CHINA TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to meet Maggie and Mary Henley in person!!!!!!!!!!
That thought process has helped me approach wedding planning with greater humility recently. Instead of getting frustrated with differences in how my mom and I want to do things, I've been trying to look at what I'm doing to create conflict and determine if it's representative of a consistent trait throughout my life--and pray that the Lord would grow and change me.
A related area that I need to grow in is submission. One of my coworkers teases me that I show what he considers to be symptoms of being the oldest child in my family. I'm definitely not offering that as an excuse, but I do have trouble submitting to authority. As I tried to fall back asleep when I woke up before my alarm this morning, I thought about a small but telling example of my unwillingness to submit from yesterday. I was reminded that submission to the authorities God has placed in my life (one of which will be my husband in 2 months!) is essentially trusting God. I truly do believe that the Lord knows better than I do what is best for me and that he cares for me AND that he works all things--seemingly positive or negative--for my good. So this is me choosing to walk in obedience in big and small ways by submitting to God-given authorities in my life, trusting that whatever the outcome, God has a perfect plan and is in control.
Oh, and MIKE AND MERITT GET HOME FROM CHINA TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to meet Maggie and Mary Henley in person!!!!!!!!!!
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